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Talking to Pets Is a Sign of Social Intelligence, Not Craziness:
Many pet parents, myself included, admit to chatting with their dogs or cats as though they were people. Sometimes we even use a different “voice” for each animal. To outsiders, this may look eccentric or silly, but according to Nicholas Epley, professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago, the behavior is not only normal but also reflects advanced social intelligence.
Epley, author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want, is considered a leading expert on anthropomorphism—the tendency to assign human thoughts, feelings, or traits to non-human beings or objects. While people often dismiss anthropomorphism as childish, Epley argues the opposite. Recognizing a mind in an animal, a god, or even a gadget requires the same mental processes as recognizing one in another human being. “It is a reflection of our brain’s greatest ability rather than a sign of our stupidity,” he writes.
Children do this instinctively, talking to dolls, stuffed animals, and imaginary friends. These behaviors help them develop social skills they’ll use later in life. Adults may set aside imaginary friends, but anthropomorphism never fully disappears. Many of us talk to our dogs after a hard day, plead with our cars to “hold out just one more mile,” or give names to boats, computers, and other objects. Rather than immaturity, this reveals the human brain’s powerful drive to connect socially—even with the non-human world.
One reason for this is our sensitivity to eyes. As Epley explains, humans are “hypersensitive to eyes because they offer a window into another person’s mind.” This instinct helps us survive by reading intent, emotion, and danger in others. Pets, with their expressive eyes, trigger this same social reflex. When you look into the soulful gaze of your dog or cat, your brain naturally responds as though you are engaging in a meaningful exchange.
“For centuries, our willingness to recognize minds in nonhumans has been seen as a kind of stupidity, a childlike tendency toward anthropomorphism and superstition that educated and clear-thinking adults have outgrown,” he writes in his book. “I think this view is both mistaken and unfortunate. Recognizing the mind of another human being involves the same psychological processes as recognizing a mind in other animals, a god, or even a gadget. It is a reflection of our brain’s greatest ability rather than a sign of our stupidity.”
Naming also plays a role. Humans have been naming important objects, from ships to weapons, for thousands of years. By naming something, we form a bond with it, making it easier to care about its wellbeing. It makes sense that we extend the same instinct to the animals who share our homes and lives.
Scientists often describe animal consciousness as a “gray mind,” meaning it cannot be conclusively proven to mirror human thought. Still, anyone who has spent years with pets recognizes their emotional awareness, intelligence, and ability to connect with us. Talking to them, then, is less about pretending and more about acknowledging the relationship we share.
So, the next time someone rolls their eyes at you for having a conversation with your pets, remember Epley’s point: far from being childish, you’re showing one of the highest forms of social cognition. In fact, you might even tell your skeptics that you’re just more socially developed than they are. After all, it’s not silly—it’s smart.
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